My name is Sam. I have depression and anxiety on top of insomnia and Aspergers/”high functioning autism”. I’m also “kinda overweight”: I’m not so fat that I get shamed for it, but fat enough that shopping for pants is a field trip and my doctor gives me advice on eating better.
I tried committing suicide this Christmas. Keyword: tried. After eight pills, my body decided it hated all those antidepressants swimming around in my empty stomach and I ended up violently vomiting them. I started off the New Year wishing I were dead. Not enough to take action and do the deed myself, but enough to wish a car would hit me at full speed.
I want to get better. Ideally that would include going to therapy. Unfortunately, its $400+ a session. So the next best thing was to blog about my experiences with mental health and my thoughts…for FREE. Don’t know if it will help, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.
While deciding on a name for this blog, I thought about this picture I have at work. Before they hired a person to assist me, I would make To Do lists at work and I would draw little doodles on them to make myself feel better. I ended up cutting them out of the lists and saving them. One of them was of the Prince of All Cosmos from Katamari Damacy and the lyric “Don’t Worry. Do your best!” from the theme song. I currently have it hung up at work so maybe when I’m feeling down or anxious I could look at it and remind myself to just do the best I can do. So that’s what I’ve decided to name this blog.