You can have cake and a pandemic, too!

Wisconsin has been on a “safer at home” order for over a week now to help stop the spread of Covid-19. It basically tells people to stay at home without actually forcing people to stay at home. And you’d think people would stay at home during a pandemic, especially since a week or so before they were stocking up on groceries to prepare for the Coronapocalypse.

Turns out, Covid-19 is way less contagious than people’s stupidity.

My husband drove me to my “essential” job Wednesday or Thursday morning last week before the store was open and we saw people gathered outside the doors like zombies from Dawn of the Dead. On Friday, the parking lot was packed. When my husband noted how packed the parking lot was on a Facebook post, a couple of people were basically saying, “Well, Evers said we could get groceries! People need groceries! Groceries are essential!”

Yes, people need groceries and essential supplies and that’s why my store with all its groceries and essential supplies is considered an “essential business” that needs to stay open. What people don’t need is to bring extra people with them to shop during a pandemic as an excuse to get out of the house and temporarily cure themselves of boredom. Parents don’t need to bring their teenagers with them. Both parents don’t need to be shopping with their children. You don’t need to bring the kids into the store when there’s a parent or teenager that can stay home to watch them. Adult children don’t need to be shopping with their elderly parents—seriously, why aren’t the adult children doing the shopping for their elderly parents that are at most risk of catching Covid-19 and dying from it? Couples don’t even need to go grocery shopping together. People don’t need to come to the store if they’re not actually shopping. You probably shouldn’t be bringing in a fresh newborn baby to the big box retail store at any time let alone a viral outbreak. What part of “stay at home” don’t these people get? I’d like to slap them all, but that wouldn’t be practicing good social distancing and it’s hard to smack someone upside their stupid little head from six feet away.

Some of these customers are still traveling to other areas to get the things they need or want. A few days ago, I had a customer get excited we had summer sausage in our deli because Tomah and Sparta were out. This fucking customer not only traveled to a whole different county, one of those towns he traveled to is literally right next to La Crosse County, which has seen 10+ cases of Covid-19. So he risked catching the virus and then bringing back to my town and infecting….for fucking deli meat. He’s far from the only person to have described going to a store in a different town. Another customer was describing there was a line around the Woodman’s building and even an associate gossiped about her trip at Aldi’s…both of which are in La Crosse. You know, where a lot of the cases are in western rural Wisconsin. *facepalm*

The cake business has been quite slow since the order has limited gatherings of ten or more people, but a couple people haven’t been deterred by the fact that we’re in a pandemic.  Last weekend I was surprised to find a ½ sheet cake for a 40th birthday. Most people get a ¼ sheet because that’s what we advertise as our smallest sheet cake size. People who buy quarter sheets are planning on having anywhere from 4-24 people. I have seen people buying them for their household when they have a kid with a birthday, but not planning on bringing anyone else over. When people order a half sheet cake, which can feed up to 48 people, they’re planning on having people because its a LOT of cake. This weekend I have to do a two tiered Frozen 2 cake for a five year old. It feeds up to 64 people if you cut it right and they’re pricey–nobody orders a tiered cake unless they want to make a statement for a large party like a wedding or a bomb ass birthday party, both of which shouldn’t be held at this time. The smart people in this pandemic are canceling their large cake orders while the idiots want their big cakes and parties in a crisis.

The Resident Evil 3 remake comes out today and I’m not sure if I’m more terrified of Nemesis or how actual people are acting during an actual viral outbreak. (For the record, my husband had me play a little bit of the demo and threw the controller on the couch and sprinted out of the living room repeating the word “Nope!” upon Nemesis bursting into the scene growling “STARSSSSSS…”)  I’m sure the same people who think nothing of bringing in entire families to the Walmart during this time would be the same people to hide a zombie bite. My stress and anxiety levels are constant and have been steadily increasing little by little, which is frustrating because I had intended to get my anxiety and depression under control before the universe threw a pandemic in everyone’s way.

I’m not that anxious about actually catching Coronavirus—I’m much more anxious that I’m going to catch it because some infected dumbass who comes to the Walmart because they’re bored or they went to a pandemic area to find a non-essential food item before coming to my store.

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