I haven’t written in a long time because things got a little hectic literally after I posted the blog about Marilyn Manson turning out to be a fucking monster and haven’t found the time to write.

When I wrote my last post I wasn’t having the best week: One of my heroes turned out to be human garbage. I made little progress on my Aloy cosplay. According to my Wii Fit U, I made zero progress on my attempt at weight loss despite efforts to eat better and get a little more exercise.

The only thing I seemed to be doing well at was my job…or so I thought. I was told that I was appreciated and I was doing a good job so naturally I was completely blindsided when I was pulled into the office and written up for poor performance. According to them, a bunch of what I had labeled overstock could be worked out to the floor. We were told to stock based on weekly sales since we were stocking too much and ended up with too many markdowns and donations. I asked for clarification because maybe there was a misunderstanding or I didn’t get some memo. Management not only confirmed we were still stocking this way, but also informed me that they had noticed this stocking issue for the past 10 days…and neglected to tell me there was even an issue that needed to be fixed until I was dragged into the office and being reprimanded for it. Long story short, I was kicked out of the area I had worked for seven years and job offered my demotion within fifteen minutes.

I use the term demotion lightly because I didn’t go down in pay and it ended up being the best thing for me.

Ultimately, I found this new position to be a million times less stressful than my old position—to the point that I almost consider it enjoyable. Most of my week is spent up front at the doors sanitizing carts or counting customers as I’m one of the few that can afford to spend all day up there without it affecting my work. It also might have to do with the fact that I’m one of the few employees that doesn’t bitch about being up at the doors. I really have no reason to whine since door duty no longer takes me away from working an understaffed area that desperately needs stocking constantly.

Once in a great moon, I get to do my actual job cashiering. I thought it was going to suck because I remembered it being stressful and anxiety inducing when I worked Electronics towards the beginning of my retail career and was called up to help out or perform audits. Surprisingly, it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be.

Almost immediately after starting my new position, other coworkers noticed that I was a lot happier. It was understandable considering I wasn’t in a toxic work environment anymore. I knew my area wasn’t the greatest due to being grossly understaffed and being filled with too many people that bickered about each other behind their backs, but I didn’t fully realize how badly it was affecting my mental health until I was booted out. I dreaded going to work because it would put my anxiety into full swing.  If I had known what I know now, I would have asked to switch departments.

It seems like I got kicked out at the perfect time because it’s been one thing after another for them after I was booted from the area. The cake decorator I had trained found another job, put in her notice, and left. The only person that’s working the closing shift for deli is a new person that transferred from a different department because the other closer was forcibly transferred out of the department for “egregious reasons” as the deli manager would put it. Well…that person is out on quarantine so technically they have zero closers. Then someone from the fresh grocery stocking team caught Covid and forced the entire team into quarantine, which resulted in the already understaffed area I used to work in to work fresh grocery on top of fresh production.

I would have pity for them if I didn’t feel like management brought this on themselves. I do not feel sorry for someone who told me I was doing a good job and was appreciated while hiding the fact I was supposedly screwing up somewhere until they were able to backstab me or the people that created a toxic work environment that further deteriorated my mental health. Maybe delighting in their misfortune makes me a bad person, but fuck it.       

2 thoughts on “Schadenfreude”

  1. That sounds completely unfair situation to be reprimanded and ‘demoted’ without being informed about the issue before and, seemingly, doing as instructed. Even if you had been informed and made an error, I would have thought you’d get at least one or two chances. It also seems counter-productive, seeing as you were experienced in the role in, as you say, an understaffed department.

    However, I’m glad you can see the positives and feel better in your new role. It seems like you’ve dealt with the mistreatment well and managed difficult emotions. Well done. I also read how anxiety provoking it could be being at the door. Perhaps, the demands of the door role has changed now or you are more accustomed to it?


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