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Spoiler alert for the movie Street Fighter.

Once in a while, my brain goes over the “What ifs?” of confronting Kim about the things she put me through during my childhood and early adult years that have left me with on-going nightmares and broken self-esteem, but ultimately I come to the conclusion that such a confrontation is not worth it. I call memories I wish I could confront her on “Street Fighter Moments”, referencing an exchange between Chun Li and Bison in the live action film of the game.

Chun Li passionately describes how twenty years prior her father saved the village at the cost of his own life when he stood up to Bison and his goons. When Chun Li expresses complete shock when Bison casually admits he doesn’t remember the incident at all, he says, “For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.”

The reaction Bison has to Chun Li perfectly demonstrates what would likely happen if I ever confronted Kim on anything, which is why I don’t her. After all, there were times in the when I would gather the courage to call her out on her behavior only for her to blow me off and say things like “It’s over. It’s done with.” If I couldn’t get through to her as these things were happening, I figure my chances of getting a satisfying result are non-existent now that those memories are at least ten years old.

This isn’t all that unusual for survivors to feel conflicted about confronting a parent over past abuse as part of the healing process. There’s an intense desire to express how their behavior has affected them, but there’s a high risk that they won’t be responsive or apologetic or even acknowledge what happened, which is the goal of confronting the parent in the first place. The problem is that both parties involved have different perspectives. For one, it affected how their brain processes information and how they react to other people. For the other…well…it was Tuesday.


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